For so long before I knew how to really witness my emotions I used to allow them to take me down. I would get so caught up in whatever I was feeling (sadness, anger, loneliness) that tunnel vision would ensue and I couldn’t find my way out. It was kind of like being sucked into a black hole without ever realizing what was happening.

I became my emotions. I would take them on like heavy, mismatched coats. I allowed them to become a part of who I thought I was.

Through my time spent in therapy and my spirituality practice, I’ve learned how to become the gentle witness to my emotions so that I no longer feel overwhelmed by them. I’ve learned how to dis-identify from them and, in doing so, I’ve discovered who I truly am without the weight of my emotions cloaked about me.

So what does it mean exactly, to be the gentle witness to your emotions? It means honoring your emotions and allowing them to be present. It means sitting with them but not becoming engulfed by them. It means approaching your emotions with curiosity rather than judgement.

Let me give you an example.

A lot of times at the end of the week I feel lonely. I’m not entirely sure why, but I think much of it has to do with the fact that by the time the weekend rolls around I’m generally tired and spent from a long week, making me more vulnerable to feeling down. This past Saturday was especially busy for me. I ended up at work well past closing time with a mountain of paperwork on my desk. Despite the long day, I was actually feeling pretty happy as I spent a few hours jamming to Pandora while writing up charts. Then on my drive home, I felt a wave of loneliness rush over me out nowhere.

Instead of getting caught up in the emotion like I might have in the past (and go down the road of, “I feel lonely. This is soooo awful. I’m so alone. I’ll always be alone.”), I allowed myself to get present. I let a few tears flow (because, honestly, that’s where I was at) and then I got curious and checked in with myself. I realized I had spent the entire day giving to my myriad of clients and their sick pets. I was overextended and exhausted.

So I took a hot shower, cooked myself a nice meal, lit a few candles, and snuggled up on the couch with the pups to watch back to back reruns of Glee. And I felt better. Had I not allowed myself to witness to emotions, I would have likely come home, felt sorry for myself and then sulked around under a dark cloud of loneliness without even realizing why. And I would have continued to feel awful.

By becoming witness to our emotions, we can allow them to move through us, rather than carry us away. We can use our emotions as clues to tune into what our true inner self is really trying to tell us.

Want to learn how to become the gentle witness to your emotions? Here are my tips!

1. Be present. When you feel an emotion coming up, if at all possible, slow down and sit with it. Doing this allows you to start to witness your thoughts. Take note of what is coming up for you and change the dialogue if necessary. (For example, changing “I am sad,” to “I am feeling sad” gives you a new viewpoint from which to allow yourself to quietly witness whatever you are feeling.) Then, simply let the emotion be. If you need to cry, then cry. If you need to get angry, then let it rip. Give yourself however long it takes to allow the emotion to pass through you.

2. Get curious. Where is the emotion coming from? Sometimes it can be difficult to tell, but this step gets easier with practice. Journaling or free-writing can be super helpful for this. If you’re able to identify something, then great! If not, don’t stress too much over this part. The important thing is to start to make curiosity, rather than judgement,  your default response.

3. Take action. Is there something your emotions are trying to tell you? If so, listen to them! Your emotions are the guideposts to your soul. When you learn how to tune in and listen to what your emotions are telling you, you will start to become more and more in tune with your true inner self. Trust me, he or she will thank you!

Give this three step process a try and let me know how it goes!

Have a beautiful day!

xoxo

Kristi