One of my very favorite things about being a coach is watching the look on a client’s face as I gently lead them to adopt a new idea or belief that they hadn’t previously considered. You can literally see a person’s entire world expand as they open their mind to the possibility that maybe they aren’t as limited as they once believed. I live for this.

Here’s the thing: Your ability to do/be/have anything is in direct proportion to your belief that you can do/be/or have whatever it is that you want. That is what I believe to be true.

So how do you cultivate the thoughts, feelings, actions and beliefs necessary to allow your desires to come forth? Here are three steps to get you started.

First, get clear on your “why.” 

Why do you want what you want? Please do not gloss over this step, it is so important. Become so clear about the reason why you want the thing that you want that thinking about it literally brings you to happy tears. (That is where the sweet spot is.) Spend time journaling and talking it out until you get super clear. This process can take some time and your “why” will likely grow and evolve over time. (That’s totally ok!) It’s the daily connection and tapping into the positive feelings around your why that makes all the difference.

Monitor your thoughts. Pick the good ones and drop the rest. Repeat. 

Ok —- I’m not saying that you can never have any negative thoughts again or that it’s wrong to experience emotions such as sadness, loneliness etc. What I am saying, however, is that far too often we allow ourselves to get taken out by negative, fear-based beliefs that are totally false and, most of the time, it’s completely unnecessary.

And you know what? Most of us aren’t even aware of it. We’re so used to the constant stream of limiting thoughts running through our minds that we forget we have the power to choose what thoughts we allow in.

One simple way to check in with where your thoughts are is to use your emotional compass. Chances are if you’re feeling crappy, you’re thinking crappy thoughts. Negative thoughts in and of themselves aren’t bad, but they warrant investigation.

Think of yourself as a bouncer at a club, monitoring any thought that comes into your awareness and only allowing in those that will positively contribute to the atmosphere you’re trying to create. If you notice a particular nagging thought or belief that keeps up coming over again and again, get curious and investigate it. Ask yourself, “Where did this thought come from?” Then challenge it! Flip it around. So often, we’ve been thinking a certain thought or belief for so long that we just accept it as true when it’s actually false.

I know that it won’t come natural to adopt these new thoughts at first, especially when you’re so used to thinking the opposite, but there are some tricks you can use. Abraham Hicks teaches the technique of reaching for the best feeling thought you have access to at any given time, which I love. You basically pick one thought (for example, “I’ll never be in a long-lasting relationship”) and climb higher and higher with a better-feeling thought until you get to something you can sit with. (“I’ll never be in a long-lasting relationship,” becomes “Just because I haven’t had a long-lasting relationship yet doesn’t mean that I can’t” which becomes “Plenty of people are finding love every single day and if it’s possible for them then its possible for me too.” See how that works?

Recognize that the Universe has your back.

Whether we realize it or not, most of us walk around with the unconscious belief that God or the Universe or life doesn’t support us. This is probably the number one belief that we have to shift in order to draw what we want into our lives.

You may believe the Universe is against you because you’ve suffered disappointment in the past or because something you really want hasn’t manifested yet. It’s probably not as important to know why you have this belief as it is to recognize that you have it (on some level) and become wiling to shift it.

I want you to take a moment and really think about it. Place your hand on your heart and feel it beating. Feel the rise and fall of your chest as your lungs are breathe in air. You’re here. Of course you are supported.

It is so crucial to get behind the belief that God, the Universe, or whatever you believe in, wants you to have what you want. The Universe cannot deliver for you until you get out of your own way. If you put all of your faith in a punishing or unloving Universe then that is what you will experience.

God/Universe = love. Love has no opposite. You are a creation of God, and so you are love and you have no opposite (ie no opposing force). Therefore you can do/be/have whatever it is that you want, you just have to get behind it. God is already behind you.