Since it’s February (and the month of Valentine’s Day) I thought I’d share a little bit of my self-love story with you. My sincere hope is that inspires you to take a little time to reflect on your own relationship with yourself and to make a commitment to deepening your own self-love. Hope you enjoy! xo
My self-love story began when I started seeing a therapist in the fall of 2010. I was fresh out of a pretty rough break up and, needless to say, my confidence and self-worth had taken a major nose-dive. I was feeling incredibly down on myself for another “failed” relationship and looking for answers as to what had gone wrong. It was probably one of the most difficult times in my life.
The truth is, I had spent the previous few years in and out of relationships where I had been settling for much less than I deserved. I had endured months at a time walking on eggshells and biting my tongue, afraid to speak up for my own needs for fear of losing the love of another person. When I look back on it, it’s actually kind of ridiculous. My view of what I thought I wanted and was worthy of receiving when it came to relationships was so distorted that even when I was faced with the possibility of a relationship or situation that might actually offer me what I needed, I couldn’t even recognize it.
Therapy opened my eyes to a whole new way of viewing myself and my relationships. I began to recognize the role I had taken in creating the situations I had experienced. I became aware of the stories I had been telling myself that I was underserving or not good enough and how my actions had contributed to the creation of those experiences. I discovered that I no longer wanted or needed to be a victim in my relationships. In fact, no one was to blame. My relationships were simply a reflection of the degree of love and respect I was giving myself. When I began to see that, I recognized that I had the power to turn it all around.
For perhaps the first time in my life, I started to truly pay attention to my needs. I fell in love with my quirks and embraced my fears and insecurities. I began to love and accept every part of myself.
Once I began to treat myself with more love and respect – in the form of more positive self-talk rather than beating myself up, recognizing my own needs and speaking up when those needs weren’t being met, and generally becoming more accepting of and compassionate towards myself – my relationships began to transform. I was able to call in new, more fulfilling experiences that reflected my deeper level of self-love and self worth.
The past two years I have spent strengthening my spiritual connection have allowed me to cultivate even more self-love. As a result, I have been able to experience a level of connection and mutual respect in my relationships that I never dreamed possible. Not just with romantic partners but in with coworkers, family and friends, too. Now, I am happy to say that my relationship with myself is one that is based on trust, respect and self-compassion. I am much more aware of what I need and deserve in all areas of my life. I am also able to communicate those needs more effectively. No one is perfect – I definitely still have challenges and things I’m working on – but I can honestly say I have truly come a long, long way.
xoxo
Kristi
Do you have a self-love story? I’d love to hear it! Please share in the comments below.
PS – I am so excited to announce that Soul Chat (my new podcast with the lovely Lauren Adelson) is now available through iTunes! You can check us out here. Thank you for your continued love and support with this new venture!
