In 2012 I was working as a full time veterinarian. (This was before I decided to take time off to pursue coaching.) I was putting in 10-12 hour days and already experiencing burn-out and fatigue just four short years into a career that was supposed to be my lifelong passion. I was feeling drained, unfulfilled and longing for more freedom in my day to day life.

I was also suffering from chronic back pain. Like, really bad back pain.

I would come home at the end of a long day of seeing patients and I would be in so much pain that the only way I could get comfortable was to lay flat on the floor and not move for the rest of the evening. This went on for months and I was completely miserable. The pain started to take a toll on me emotionally, as well as physically.

As awful as I know this is going to sound, I used to fantasize about my back pain becoming so debilitating that I would have no choice but to take medical leave from work. It wasn’t that I didn’t love aspects of my job (and I certainly don’t take my health for granted), but I definitely didn’t love working in the veterinary field full time. I didn’t enjoy the long days or being on someone else’s schedule and, to be honest, as much as I respect the career (and I respect it tremendously), I knew that there was more I wanted to do in my life.

So I made an appointment with a sports medicine doctor who ordered an MRI to make sure there was nothing seriously wrong with my back (there wasn’t). Then he wrote me a prescription for physical therapy, fitted me for an orthopedic t-shirt to help alleviate some of my day to day discomfort, wished me good luck and sent me on my way.

I can remember thinking, “That’s it?” I’m pretty sure that in the back of my mind I was hoping for some kind of doctor’s orders telling me that I needed to cut back at work or my health would be in serious danger. I wanted him to look at my scans, shake his head and say, “This clearly isn’t sustainable for you physically in the long term so it’s best that you get out now.” But he didn’t. He gave me a t-shirt. And I was devastated. I cried all the way home that afternoon, feeling totally defeated.

But in that moment I also had a realization —- I realized I had been waiting for permission. I had been waiting for permission from an MRI result or a doctor to tell me it was ok to cut back at work when it was obvious to me (even long before scheduling the appointment) that was what I needed to do. I was waiting for permission from whoever or whatever to tell me it was ok to shift gears, to put my emotional and physical well-being first, to live the life I wanted to live and to follow the path I already knew was in my heart.

That realization was a major turning point for me. Because it helped me to see that I didn’t need permission from anything or anyone on the outside. The only person I needed permission from was myself. Once I became willing to give myself permission to follow what was in my heart, everything started to fall into place.

Four years later I work as a part-time veterinarian and I’m building an amazing coaching business that I love and that fuels me. I’m much more satisfied in my veterinary job working just three days a week (and because I’m more fulfilled outside of work, I also feel more fulfilled when I’m at work), and my back pain is virtually nonexistent.

I’m not telling you all of this to toot my own horn, but to show you that if there’s something that you really want to do or be or change or let go of, you absolutely MUST give yourself permission to follow your heart. We seek for so much permission and validation on the outside to follow our dreams, when the only person or source we need any permission or validation from is ourselves.

So I want to ask you to get really honest here: Where in your life do you need to give yourself permission to follow your heart? (Hint: it’s likely the area of your life in which you’re feeling the most frustrated and powerless.) What’s holding you back? Leave me a comment below!