I want you to consider the following question for a minute, and be honest with yourself.
How good are you at embracing your emotions? I’m not just talking about being able to recognize when you’re feeling happy, anxious or sad, but receiving your emotions with open arms and really allowing yourself to feel them.
It’s easy to embrace our emotions when we’re feeling love, joy or peace, but what about when it comes to the not-so-great feelings, like sadness, anxiety or disappointment?
When faced with so-called ‘negative’ emotions (in truth, our emotions are only as positive or negative as we judge them to be), most of us tend to do one of two things: we either resist or suppress. I used to resist feeling negative emotions at all cost. As someone who struggled with anxiety for quite a few years, I used to hate feeling anxious more than anything, so whenever anxious feelings would come up I would resist them (which only made things worse). I also used to regularly suppress my sadness, telling myself I was too sensitive or weak when I needed to cry.
The thing is, when it comest to our emotions we can’t just ignore the bad and feel the good. It doesn’t work that way. We are all human, and as humans, we are meant to experience the full spectrum of human emotions. When we don’t allow ourselves to feel our sadness, our happiness gets muted down too. Another reason it’s critically important to fully embrace our emotions is that it’s necessary to actually feel the emotions in order for them to come to the surface so they can be released.
Whether you’re going through a difficult time, experiencing a bout of sadness or (ahem) it’s just that time of the month, your emotions can be important cues to tapping into and healing some pretty radical stuff. One thing I have learned by facing my challenges head-on is that our darkest times can often serve as our greatest opportunities for personal and spiritual growth, if we allow them to.
These past couple weeks I’ve been feeling a lot of emotions that have been needing to surface. I’ve come to recognize that when I sense that unsettled, churning deep inside it’s a call to really slow things down and pay attention because something is ready to be released.
For me, heading out on a long solo run, sitting in meditation, spending a few hours playing piano or even just listening to some good old-fashioned, soul-stirring music (I’m currently obsessed with this song) always helps me tune into how I’m feeling. Journaling and writing are incredibly helpful tools for tapping into my emotions, too. I can always tell when I’ve struck a nerve with my writing by the emotion that comes up for me.
Regardless of the method, I do whatever it takes to feel the emotion and then I allow myself to dwell in it for a little while. What I find is that, instead of driving myself crazy resisting or suppressing my feelings, I create the space for whatever needs to come to the surface and, subsequently, I am able to release it. If I need to get angry, I get angry. If I need to cry, then I let myself cry. My friend and mentor Heather Waxman puts it best when she says, “let yourself marinate” in whatever you need to feel. It is in that space we can find joy in the midst of sadness or release from resentment or anger. It is often during these periods that I experience my greatest a-ha moments or revelations.
The trick is to allow yourself to dwell in the feeling of the emotion without living there. Don’t judge your emotions or make them a part of you, but allow them to come up, honor them and then let them go. Recognize that you are not your emotions, you are simply the vessel through which they pass.
xoxo
Kristi
How do you work through emotional times? Any tips to share? I’d love to hear them!
